|Cavalia tent, partial view|
I'm getting a little more used to life as a widow. It's been a little over two weeks since Stan died and I'm trying to come to terms with all I've been through these past months and weeks -- the whole medical ordeal, the visitation and memorial service, the legal stuff, and carrying on with the house and animals. I've got tons of thank you notes to write and the last of the funeral flowers are fading. But I feel so blessed that I still have project ideas bubbling around in my head that I want to do. Stay tuned as I try to refine them in my mind and make them presentable to the public. I really miss having Stan here to give me honest, man-on-the-street feedback and keep me grounded.
I have lots of widowed role models to inspire me and offer advice. One told me that she still talks to her late husband, so that's what I'm doing. I talk to Stan and it feels more like normal. He very seldom answered me anyway. :-)
I got so teary washing his clothes for the last time and putting them in his drawer knowing I would never do it again. But when I told a friend about it she said, "You can wash those clothes as many times as you want dear." And I guess I can!
I took off my wedding ring, the indentation is still on my finger. Thirty-six years of wearing it doesn't disappear all that quickly. Stan hadn't worn his wedding ring for several years, so now the two of them sit together in the drawer.
Breeding season is here for the sheep. I could tell that Hattie was cycling last week, so I let her in with Hansel. The two of them were inseparable for a couple days and then it was Heddy's turn. I marked the calendar for March 19th for Hattie's lambs. I can't wait to see what she produces! I'm not certain that Heddy was bred, but she would be due a few days after Hattie.
I still have Camille to get bred and then Hansel is free to leave. He's in with Socks, our wether, but they share a fenceline with the ewes so I'll know when Camille cycles and I can just let her in with Hansel. Also if Hattie and Heddy didn't take, I can put them in if they cycle again in the next week or two.
Lots to do today including my annual physical and a meeting with a lawyer. It's finally starting to get light outside so time to get busy.