Cavalia tent, partial view |
I'm getting a little more used to life as a widow. It's been a little over two weeks since Stan died and I'm trying to come to terms with all I've been through these past months and weeks -- the whole medical ordeal, the visitation and memorial service, the legal stuff, and carrying on with the house and animals. I've got tons of thank you notes to write and the last of the funeral flowers are fading. But I feel so blessed that I still have project ideas bubbling around in my head that I want to do. Stay tuned as I try to refine them in my mind and make them presentable to the public. I really miss having Stan here to give me honest, man-on-the-street feedback and keep me grounded.
I have lots of widowed role models to inspire me and offer advice. One told me that she still talks to her late husband, so that's what I'm doing. I talk to Stan and it feels more like normal. He very seldom answered me anyway. :-)
I got so teary washing his clothes for the last time and putting them in his drawer knowing I would never do it again. But when I told a friend about it she said, "You can wash those clothes as many times as you want dear." And I guess I can!
I took off my wedding ring, the indentation is still on my finger. Thirty-six years of wearing it doesn't disappear all that quickly. Stan hadn't worn his wedding ring for several years, so now the two of them sit together in the drawer.
Breeding season is here for the sheep. I could tell that Hattie was cycling last week, so I let her in with Hansel. The two of them were inseparable for a couple days and then it was Heddy's turn. I marked the calendar for March 19th for Hattie's lambs. I can't wait to see what she produces! I'm not certain that Heddy was bred, but she would be due a few days after Hattie.
I still have Camille to get bred and then Hansel is free to leave. He's in with Socks, our wether, but they share a fenceline with the ewes so I'll know when Camille cycles and I can just let her in with Hansel. Also if Hattie and Heddy didn't take, I can put them in if they cycle again in the next week or two.
It looks like I have three female muscovy ducks. I love how they can fly so well and roost up high, but I was not thrilled to see this when I looked out the window on Sunday afternoon. Time to park the vehicles in the garage!
Lots to do today including my annual physical and a meeting with a lawyer. It's finally starting to get light outside so time to get busy.
Becky, you continue to be in my prayers. I have tears in my eyes reading this, but I am full of admiration for how you seem to be handling "life."
ReplyDeleteCavalia is coming to Portland in a couple weeks and I really want to go. Your review might get me over the hump of coughing up the money!
It's nice to see you on here again. I will keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI too am teary eyed reading your post. You are an inspiration, and it sounds like you have great role models to help you with this transition. Project ideas and working with the animals seems like perfect activities now. I hope you have gorgeous lambs in the spring, and I love the ducks photo.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you got out with your mom and friends and had a good time. It sounds like you've got a good support system around you. That's a good thing!
ReplyDeleteI still want to get together with you and learn nuno felting as well as felting a whole fleece. One of these days...
(((HUGS)))
Becky, so sorry about Stan. I'm glad to read that you are getting out with family and friends. Know that you are in my thoughts every day. I'll see you next weekend at the benefit.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deb, Donna and all. Nancy, I am looking forward to getting through all my paperwork and being able to felt again. We could have a felting retreat up here at my house.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, Cavalia really was a unique opportunity, those horses were so smart and the riders were amazing. I have to say, I wished we would have bought the more expensive "horse lover" tickets so we could have met the horses after the show -- even though their price was really outrageous.
And those dang ducks! I was in the bathroom this morning and heard some strange noises coming from the skylight above me. I looked up and there they were, pecking away at it! I might have to clip their wings.
I think of you often, Becky, and I wish you well. Life is always changing, but along with the heartache there will be joy and happiness. I am glad you have so many loved ones to help you adjust to life without Stan and that there are fulfilling things you enjoy doing. Please keep us posted!
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